I remember searching for podcasts to fill my 7 hour drive back home and stumbling upon 'The Diary of a CEO'. The name lured me in and I ended up listening to back to back episodes till I got home. Since then, I have been a long time follower of the podcast and got to learn more about the host Stephen Bartlett. When he released his book, I was eager to get my hands on a copy. I didn't think I would have a chance to buy the book before I left for the US, but my amazing friends Zac and Em got me a copy. Fast forward a week and I had finished the book. Now, this says a lot. I have never been much of a reader, but Stephen's storytelling is so engaging and he so eloquently ties the key lessons into real life examples. I highly encourage you to check out the book and let me know what you think! Help support the blog by using this affiliate link : )
Diary of a CEO Book - https://amzn.to/3wt5Y5i
The book is split into four key pillars. To avoid a 10,000 word essay, I will cover one pillar each week. So, without further ado...
Pillar 1 - The Self
1 -The Five Buckets
Stephen has a theory that there are five main buckets that we fill in our life. They are:
What you know - Knowledge
What you can do - Skills
Who you know - Network
What you have - Assets
What the world thinks of you - Reputation
He goes on to suggest that these buckets fill in order. By improving your knowledge and skills, you are able to get better jobs which improves how much you earn (Bucket 4) and gives you access to more prestigious people (Bucket 3).
Investing in the first two buckets are the best investments because they cascade to the rest of the buckets
Many of us are eager to help others, but it is important to remember that you must first fill your own buckets before trying to give to others since:
You cannot pour from an empty bucket
Focus instead on filling YOUR buckets, so that they can overflow and help to fill others.
2 - Create An Obligation To Teach
If you want to learn something, read about it. If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it.
This summarises the entire chapter perfectly. It is one of the reasons I started to write these articles, in this pursuit to deepen my knowledge and teach. By making a public commitment to post an article each week, I have put my reputation on the line and this increases the 'cost' to me. Since I have skin in the game, I am more likely to follow through.
The person who learns the most in any classroom is the teacher - James Clear
If you don't know where to start, use the Feynman technique:
Learn the content - really battle with it and approach it from different angles
Teach it - write the concept down like you were explaining it to a child.
Share it - post it in a place where people will see it and you can get feedback
Review - review the feedback and see if people understood your explanation. If not, repeat the process.
(In saying all this, if you don't understand anything I have posted about, please leave a comment and I would be more than happy to re-explain it. It will help both of us!)
3 - Never Disagree
We have all felt it before, when you are in a debate or argument and you feel personally attacked. Well, you are not alone. In fact, there is research which proves that disagreement causes conflict, which cause the other side to switch off (Sharot, 2019). The goal of this law is to create separation between the problem being debated and the people debating. In short, aim to work against a problem, not against each other.
So, what is the best way to communicate a problem? Start a 'disagreement' with the things that you have in common & highlight the things you agree on. By levelling the playing field, you open the door to receptiveness. Then, listen so they feel 'heard' and reply in a way that makes them feel 'understood'. This will frame the conversation as less confrontational and more collaborative and productive.
4 - You Don't Get to Choose Your Beliefs
Whilst many of us may think that we design our own belief system, they are actually developed based on people we trust & evidence we procure throughout our life. This means that our beliefs are heavily influenced. This goes for you and everyone around you. Therefore if you want to change someones mind, there is no point attacking their beliefs, but instead inspiring new ones. Some people may not be receptive to this, so a key method to open them up is to have them try to deeply explain their belief. In doing so you can greatly reduce their conviction and increase the receptiveness to new ideas.
Since our beliefs are influenced by our experiences, it is important to do the things that you fear, because the growth zone is where new evidence exists. This is partly why sheltered children have almost identical beliefs to their parents, since they are not exposed to new evidence.
Stephen also frames this from a self belief perspective and suggests that the best way to challenge limited self belief is to step out of your comfort zone. Doing this gives you new first hand evidence that you can accomplish more than you expect, which will help reshape your self belief.
5 - Lean in to Bizarre Behaviour
In our current day and age, things change in an instant and in order to stay ahead of the curve, you must lean in to bizarre behaviour. What do I mean by this? Imagine hearing someone talk about a piece of software that you could type in anything and it would give you an answer. If you told someone this 20 years ago, they would laugh at you, but now it is common place due to the internet. The people who have been the most successful were the ones who leant in to try and understand how they could take advantage of this new technology. Most people however, are threatened by things they don't understand and instead opt to ignore it. A prime example is Blockbuster, the movie rental shop, when Netflix introduced the concept of on-demand video and presented a potential partnership deal, the executives laughed the Netflix team out of their office. They didn't understand the opportunity and leaned out. Blockbuster was so sure that they were right, that they refused to take onboard new information...now look who is laughing.
"New things put ego, status, jobs & identities at stake" - Embrace the thing people are criticising
Ultimately, this chapter urges us to reserve our temptation to judge & instead reflect on our own beliefs, the possibility we may be wrong, whether or not we have all the facts and if we are being followers or free thinkers. I think now is a critical moment to enact this mindset. with the rise of AI, you could stay ignorant or you could deepen your understanding and lean in to this new wave.
Don't run from ideas that make you uncomfortable, run towards them
6 - Ask Don't Tell - The Question/Behaviour Effect
This chapter was a bit of a psychological hack for persuasion. Rather than focussing on telling people what to do, Stephen recommends asking leading questions. Questions elicit an active response which means people have to think about what you have just said. In doing so, their response will be more logical/reasonable. It is also beneficial to ask yes or no questions starting with "will", for example, "will you recycle?". By using this phrasing you imply a sense of ownership and action and provide no wiggle room to explain excuses.
Ask questions of your actions and your actions will answer
Try to reduce the number of action 'statements' you make and instead focus on asking yourself 'Yes' or 'No' questions. You will be surprised how much more effective they are at getting others to say 'Yes', if it gets them closer to being the person they want to become.
7 - Never Compromise Your Self Story
This was the first time I had been introduced to this concept of 'Self-Story'. It is the story you write & tell yourself, about yourself. Probably my biggest takeaway from this chapter was that mental fortitude & perseverance beats strength & intelligence. There was a great example which measured cadets on the Grit Scale (measure of perseverance and passion for long-term goals). It showed that cadets with just one standard deviation point higher on the grit scale, were 60% more likely to make it through their training. I think the same is true with life. It is our mental fortitude which determines our level of success. Our self story dictates whether we are mentally tough - the more positive, the better.
I found this law to blend quite well with law 4, whereby you are always watching what you do & collecting evidence on yourself. If you compromise or give in, you lose your self image and self belief. Therefore, to create new evidence, you must change your actions. I have had first hand experience with this. I was an incredibly unfit child and could barely run to the end of my street without huffing and puffing. At the end of 2022, I made the goal to run a marathon, In an effort to reshape my self story. After months of training, my whole perception had changed. I had seen that I was able to run distances beyond my wildest dreams. This was proof that the choices you make in the face of adversity creates the evidence for your self story. We can however, fall prey to stereotypes. "You can't do this, you can't do that.....", all of this will impact your self story. It is important not to internalise these stereotypes and instead focus on building your own set of evidence.
Want to build your self story? Do hard things when no-one is watching. This will give yourself the evidence to build an unwavering self belief.
8 - Never Fight a Bad Habit
Fighting bad habits is a failing strategy, instead you must understand the 'habit loop' and replace the bad habit with something 'less' bad. The bit loop is defined by the following cycle:
Stephen uses the great example of his fathers smoking habit. Whenever he would get into the car (trigger), he would automatically reach into the door and grab a cigarette (routine) and then be hit with the dopamine rush induced by the nicotine (reward). How did his dad break the habit? He replaced the cigarettes in his car door with mini lollipops. That way he was still getting the dopamine reward (though a lot less addictive) and was able to successfully quit. This example hammers home the idea that you should not fight the habit but instead replace the reward with something a lot less addictive. This is largely in part because the more you focus on quitting something, the more you end up rebounding (Behavioural rebound effect).
I'm sure if you are reading this, you are a pretty driven person who has lots of goals and ambitions. I have personally experienced the difficulty of trying to achieve too many goals at once, largely because it feels exhausting having to keep track and constantly switch tasks. Stephen explores this phenomena which he calls "willpower depletion". He outlines that we have limited willpower capacity so in order to maximise our probability of success, we should only focus on one habit at a time. By having less goals, you have less vying for your limited willpower.
9 - Always Prioritise Your First Foundation
At the end of the day, what good is being successful if your health is in the gutter? The core of this chapter is to remind us to look after our body and mind. Reprioritise your health so that you can live long enough to enjoy everything else that you want to do. Everything we have, appreciate and desire is nothing if we die tomorrow
You only get one mind, and you only get one body. and it's got to last a lifetime.....If you don't take care of that mind and that body, they'll be a wreck 40 years later - Warren Buffet
Some people are so caught up looking after others, that they don't make time to look after themselves. While it might seem like a noble sacrifice at the time, there is no greater form of gratitude then taking care of yourself. If you wish to be able to help others long into the future, you must look after yourself. This reminds me of what they say in the airline safety briefing, "put on your mask before helping your child or others". This may seem selfish, but how helpful will you be to those people if you pass out?
Many of us make excuses and say that we are "too busy" to exercise or eat healthy food. If you really think that is the case, you are gravely mistaken. Stephen summarises it perfectly:
Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness
At the end of the day, health underpins the enjoyment of our life. You can either make minor sacrifices now and chooses to live a healthy lifestyle in exchange for good health, or you can put all that aside and go all in, but expect a short life.
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